Mom & Recruiter
I have a lot to say. I have a ton of opinions, a lot of unique experiences, and usually a lot of confidence and eagerness to share what’s on my mind.
But my career, specifically my job as a recruiter, has trained me to do the opposite of speak. Every day I talk to people about life, their work, their dreams, their fears and over the years I’ve developed excellent listening skills. Sometimes I can even intuit and anticipate what someone will say before they say it. Sometimes I feel like it’s chess, where I’m lining up my questions and followups in a queue based on similar patterns of behaviors and the ways in which similar conversations have gone in the past.
Sometimes I get excited, caught up and let myself go off-script. One of the best parts of my job is not only the repetition, which I think makes anyone improve at anything, but the room to be really authentic in my approach and in my voice. I’ve told strangers on the phone that I thought my boyfriend was going to propose, I’ve talked to them about Din Tai Fung, Joshua Tree and therapy.
Being a recruiter is more than being a resume screener. Every time I have the opportunity to speak to someone new I’m acting as a mirror, only revealing what they already know. It’s part therapy, part guide, but really the best work is done when it’s in partnership. My success is measured in theirs. Traditionally, people confuse recruiters with HR or use the word headhunter. Sometimes I reject the HR comparison. In many large and small places I’ve worked the two functions can overlap for sure and work in tandem, but to me there are a few key differences.
A Human Resources department operates to keep employees happy, healthy and on some occasions let them go.
A recruiter’s job is centered more around growth than retention. It’s about speed and volume, agility and compromise. It’s nuanced because matching people to opportunities are never exact fits. It’s almost always approximation, like art colliding with science. A mentor of mine told me that it’s the only sales job where the product (a candidate) can say, “No, I don’t want to be sold to X buyer” or “No, I will not take x job offer at x company.”
I hardly write this to claim recruiting to be a field above any other. I have just been musing tonight and am acutely aware of the way my personal and professional life fuse together, impacting and influencing one another.
I feel privileged to work and that my career is at its best defined by relationships and, as cheesy as it sounds, connecting to find mutual understanding. It doesn’t hurt that I can also work from my bed, at a pool, or waiting in line for some food.
When I tell my little children what Mama does for work, I’m not sure what I’ll say. But I’ll tell them I’m good at it, and that I have fun.
